verbal diarrhea at 3AM due to insomnia.
while it seems we as a species have gotten past so much, we have never really escaped the specter of beauty.
it's the foundation of every fairy tale: either it begins with a beautiful woman, or she's ugly and turns out to have been secretly beautiful, or she's ugly and through magic or a good heart or what have you she becomes beautiful. even people on tv or in movies who are supposed to be ugly have good looks bristling beneath their makeup.
we are genetically inclined toward the beautiful. this can hardly be disputed..there are, naturally, exceptions to the rule, but by and large it's true. while its said most couples are of equal attractiveness, its telling that even the most 'unattractive' (in whatever ways) person will long for someone who exhibits a high degree of physical beauty. its why a happily married man will still get a thrill from jessica alba or angelina jolie. they are beautiful in their eyes.
being an plain, average girl, I am often bewildered and a bit out of sorts when someone tells me they find me attractive. i look at myself, my collection of body parts and quirks, measure against even the lowest standard of beauty I can encounter, and quickly find myself lacking. its very difficult to believe in one's own beauty when there are people out there who are so much more stunning. it's not just about looks either. a beautiful, smart woman has a leg up on me, because we may both be smart but she's beautiful. someone may like my shape but I can't imagine how they could like a zaftig as much as they could like sylphlike, and I dont believe for a moment that I truly compare or can compete. women, so often, are seen as the sum of their parts (internally and externally) and not as a whole. I daresay men are considered the same way but I can't be sure because I don't really think of people that way..
I saw a commercial once for a car, and the voiceover said something like "you never look at someone and say 'gee, they sure look loyal' or 'that person sure looks smart and considerate'" and I think that is where the social vs genetic clash happens. no, we dont have to choose someone based on their looks. we dont have to fall prey to the lure of whats on the outside, but in all honesty how in the world else are we supposed to ever find whats inside? and worse, lets say by way of the internet or something we meet someone's true self before we see his/her physical self. what if there is no attraction? what if the physicality mitigates everything that came before?
I think that we will always find ourselves warring with the concepts of physical and inner beauty. there's no wrong in only pursuing someone you find externally attractive, even at the cost of losing someone who is less so but has a richer inner self. why? there is always that component within us that can be tempted. many overcome it but many dont, and in the end I think it behooves those of us who are less attractive to either be like water and seek our own level, or find whatever is within ourselves that makes validation from an outside party important, and excise it tout de suite.
Showing posts with label quirks and qualms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quirks and qualms. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Friday, February 06, 2009
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose people to be tagged and tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish).
1. I like experimenting new skincare/beauty products partly because I'm convinced if it's a dud, I can prevent people from wasting money on gimmick products. This includes the STUPID $40 Givenchy phenomen'eyes mascara and the 'vibrating mascara' from Lancome.
2. I have a bad habit of sticking to skincare regimes, which explains why I never really know if things are effectual seeing that I don't use it long enough to observe results.
3. I'm probably the best parallel parker I know. Pick a spot on the street and I will fit the car in. This is the aftermath from enduring hours of practice parallel parking in rush-hour traffic, with buses, 18-wheelers, and my driving instructor all yelling at me.
4. GOOGLE is my in-house doctor, mechanic, handyman, sous chef, financial advisor all packaged into one. I don't know what I would do without this great invention.
5. I have lists for everything. Movies to watch; recipes to make; places to see; things to do; restaurants to try. I assume it has to do with the satisfaction of checking something off. CHECK!
6. I aspire to use up the 24 pages in my passport in a five-year term one day.
7. There is a list of TV Shows that I want to get into, but the thought of catching up a crapload of episodes daunts me. However, once I get started on a show..I can sacrifice sleep in order to finish catching up. 4 seasons of greys in a week!
8. Packrat is my middle name. I like collecting for the sake of collecting. I'm determined someday at least one of my collections will be valuable and I can pass it down to my nieces/nephews/godchildren.
9. following on #8, I can't pass anything down to my kids because I made up my mind years ago that I don't want children at alll; I have my reasons.
10. Don't believe your friend when s/he tells you tattoos don't hurt. THEY MOTHEREFFING HURT!!
11. I started cataloging my wardrobe one day, visual pictorials of every article of clothing, footwear, accessory I own so A. I don't buy doubles. B. I know what I have. (Or not have =])
12. I'm secretly a 'Mommy's Girl'. I sleep in her bed when she goes on vacations cause sometimes I miss her so much. I freak out if she doesn't text/email daily when she's away. On the other hand, when she's home..on occasion I don't see her for days because I'm leaving early and coming home late.
13. Periodically, I daydream 'What-If' scenarios and conjure up some imaginary dialogue and loop it through my mind all day. This is also the reason why I answered 'Triceratops was using the washing machine' to the question 'Historically, AI was distinguished from cognitive psychology in what way?' in my psych. class.
14. Have you heard.. MC-Hammer pants aka 'Harem Pants' are the next IT thing on the Fashion front. More like 'must-be-kidding' instead of 'must-have', Vogue!! I wouldn't even touch it with an eight-inch stiletto.
15. I use 2 Rubbermaid totes/1 collapsible basket for groceries. One of my resolutions was to decrease the use of styrofoam and plastic bags. I have not taken any since, and hope it remains that way.
16. There should be a Whole Foods/Capers within my vicinity so I don't have to trek across the city to get my organic mac and cheese fix.
17. As far as I can remember, I loved car rides ever since I was a toddler. I recall my parents driving to Stanley Park every night just so it's easier for me to fall asleep. That's of course when gas was hovering the 30cents mark.
18. Following through #17, I love driving more than the average person would. Every so often I'd sneak out and drive aimlessly throughout the city. The open road is yours, the stillness of the city exudes a halcyon notion. Perhaps at times when your life is beyond your control, driving seems like the one thing you have complete predominance over.
19. I was hardly a good student in highschool. I rarely completed assignments, or rushed through it just to receive a passing mark. Oddly enough, that stopped in post-secondary. I'd still leave it to the last hour, but manage to write 10 page B+ papers in 2 hours. Either my profs are easy markers or I got smarter! The inner-highschool geek finally comes out!
20. I wish I can write half as well as certain people do. Some just have the talent to string together a few sentences quite eloquent and beautifully.
21. Call it OCD, but I never borrow books from the library. I feel icky when I do; its as if I'm touching dirty money. I buy all my books from the store instead.
22. I wouldn't say I'm a safe driver; I tend to speed excessively and drive with a short temper. But the one thing that I obsessively do is exaggerate my shoulder checks, something I'm consistantly made fun of! The Class 5 examiner complimented them and suggested I should be a 'model blindspot checker' for everyone. LOL!
23. Forget Brad Pitt or David Beckham, GEORGE CLOONEY <3333 trumps all of them!
[2nd place Tom Welling, haha]
24. I once gave a man $20 because I didn't have any change on me. I still remember his face light up with hope and gratitude.
25. My perfect dream moment would be me and someone I love dearly sitting in a convertible R8, seared ahi-tuna with miso glaze and a glass of pinot gris, watching planes takeoff and landing on a dark night. I should be a tv show scriptwriter, haha.
'
(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish).
1. I like experimenting new skincare/beauty products partly because I'm convinced if it's a dud, I can prevent people from wasting money on gimmick products. This includes the STUPID $40 Givenchy phenomen'eyes mascara and the 'vibrating mascara' from Lancome.
2. I have a bad habit of sticking to skincare regimes, which explains why I never really know if things are effectual seeing that I don't use it long enough to observe results.
3. I'm probably the best parallel parker I know. Pick a spot on the street and I will fit the car in. This is the aftermath from enduring hours of practice parallel parking in rush-hour traffic, with buses, 18-wheelers, and my driving instructor all yelling at me.
4. GOOGLE is my in-house doctor, mechanic, handyman, sous chef, financial advisor all packaged into one. I don't know what I would do without this great invention.
5. I have lists for everything. Movies to watch; recipes to make; places to see; things to do; restaurants to try. I assume it has to do with the satisfaction of checking something off. CHECK!
6. I aspire to use up the 24 pages in my passport in a five-year term one day.
7. There is a list of TV Shows that I want to get into, but the thought of catching up a crapload of episodes daunts me. However, once I get started on a show..I can sacrifice sleep in order to finish catching up. 4 seasons of greys in a week!
8. Packrat is my middle name. I like collecting for the sake of collecting. I'm determined someday at least one of my collections will be valuable and I can pass it down to my nieces/nephews/godchildren.
9. following on #8, I can't pass anything down to my kids because I made up my mind years ago that I don't want children at alll; I have my reasons.
10. Don't believe your friend when s/he tells you tattoos don't hurt. THEY MOTHEREFFING HURT!!
11. I started cataloging my wardrobe one day, visual pictorials of every article of clothing, footwear, accessory I own so A. I don't buy doubles. B. I know what I have. (Or not have =])
12. I'm secretly a 'Mommy's Girl'. I sleep in her bed when she goes on vacations cause sometimes I miss her so much. I freak out if she doesn't text/email daily when she's away. On the other hand, when she's home..on occasion I don't see her for days because I'm leaving early and coming home late.
13. Periodically, I daydream 'What-If' scenarios and conjure up some imaginary dialogue and loop it through my mind all day. This is also the reason why I answered 'Triceratops was using the washing machine' to the question 'Historically, AI was distinguished from cognitive psychology in what way?' in my psych. class.
14. Have you heard.. MC-Hammer pants aka 'Harem Pants' are the next IT thing on the Fashion front. More like 'must-be-kidding' instead of 'must-have', Vogue!! I wouldn't even touch it with an eight-inch stiletto.
15. I use 2 Rubbermaid totes/1 collapsible basket for groceries. One of my resolutions was to decrease the use of styrofoam and plastic bags. I have not taken any since, and hope it remains that way.
16. There should be a Whole Foods/Capers within my vicinity so I don't have to trek across the city to get my organic mac and cheese fix.
17. As far as I can remember, I loved car rides ever since I was a toddler. I recall my parents driving to Stanley Park every night just so it's easier for me to fall asleep. That's of course when gas was hovering the 30cents mark.
18. Following through #17, I love driving more than the average person would. Every so often I'd sneak out and drive aimlessly throughout the city. The open road is yours, the stillness of the city exudes a halcyon notion. Perhaps at times when your life is beyond your control, driving seems like the one thing you have complete predominance over.
19. I was hardly a good student in highschool. I rarely completed assignments, or rushed through it just to receive a passing mark. Oddly enough, that stopped in post-secondary. I'd still leave it to the last hour, but manage to write 10 page B+ papers in 2 hours. Either my profs are easy markers or I got smarter! The inner-highschool geek finally comes out!
20. I wish I can write half as well as certain people do. Some just have the talent to string together a few sentences quite eloquent and beautifully.
21. Call it OCD, but I never borrow books from the library. I feel icky when I do; its as if I'm touching dirty money. I buy all my books from the store instead.
22. I wouldn't say I'm a safe driver; I tend to speed excessively and drive with a short temper. But the one thing that I obsessively do is exaggerate my shoulder checks, something I'm consistantly made fun of! The Class 5 examiner complimented them and suggested I should be a 'model blindspot checker' for everyone. LOL!
23. Forget Brad Pitt or David Beckham, GEORGE CLOONEY <3333 trumps all of them!
[2nd place Tom Welling, haha]
24. I once gave a man $20 because I didn't have any change on me. I still remember his face light up with hope and gratitude.
25. My perfect dream moment would be me and someone I love dearly sitting in a convertible R8, seared ahi-tuna with miso glaze and a glass of pinot gris, watching planes takeoff and landing on a dark night. I should be a tv show scriptwriter, haha.
'
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