drenched in my memories.

its hard adjusting to all this idle time.

she could be wearing my hoodie. one of my hoodies that i spent time picking out for him.

i cant help but think what they're both doing.
ive grown to realize, nothing is ever really 'yours'.
but when im lying around, and have time to ponder..i wish to lie in his arms. cuddling.
i miss the feeling of being cherished and loved.


cmon you, everyone goes through heartbreak sooner or later.
aren't you glad its over now, than when both of you are married?


i thought he was the one. i wonder how many times have women said that to themselves.
why are we so easily blinded by love? why is it a difficult task to take a giant step back and look at the whole picture. most importantly, why is hindsight perfect visioned?

i wish i had the courage and strength to say im better off without him, but im doubting myself. without him by my side, the path down the road is pitch-black and frightening. its overwhelming when you're living life without someone to hold your and and support you. i feel so lost in this world, its like im emotionally dead.

i dont think i can love another as much as i loved him. i may have not cherished it as much i should or could have, and probably taken him for granted for a long while. i guess it always takes something huge to make people realize they should be happy for what they have.


i dont know if i should be angry with him for ripping my heart out and smashing it into pieces.
there are tons of things i can be angry about but it all boils down to this: even if im angry, would he know? does it change how he feels about me? --- he's still happy with her, and he's made his choice. nothing will change even if i rip the house apart.